Thomas Moore has some words that could be useful about remorse if you are thinking you have made mistakes or you wish you had done something differently.
As it is, it is often hard to admit a mistake at work because of the fear for your job.
But outside of that, when you do mess up, then maybe you wonder what to do about it?
Well Thomas Moore has said some inspiring things about remorse, rather than just regret, that it can be an active normal part of life with a positive angle.
In his spiritual book "Dark night of the Soul," Moore wrote about the habit of justifying your existence especially if you are looking back later on in life.
Maybe you find that the hardest person to please is yourself?
Sometimes you find yourself thinking, 'I wish I had trained to do that', 'I wish I had never ever ever done that'.
'I wish I had not said that'. 'Why does everyone else manage that when I find it so hard?' ... and so many thoughts.
Well, according to Moore, this way of thinking can be egotistic or it can be transformational.
"Regret is usually a stale, stillborn emotion that gets you nowhere," Thomas Moore writes.
"It is empty because it is full of ego...It doesn't have deep roots, and though feelings of regret can be intense, they lack an intelligence and bite that motivate a significant shift in attitude."
Then Thomas Moore explains that remorse, unlike regret can lead to change.
"The word 'regret' means to weep, but 'remorse' means to bite, as in the word 'morsel'.
"Remorse pricks you into awareness and stimulates new and fresh behaviour. Regret keeps you stuck in feelings that are sufficient in themselves and have no bite. Remorse doesn't have to change your life but it will change your attitude.
"Remorse serves you. It doesn't merely make you feel guilty,"Thomas Moore said
You maybe also consider that growth or change is often painful. Somehow in this culture making a mistake can come with a punishment and blame, whereas in other philosophies it is seen as a learning process. So in that sense remorse is a part of that process.
Related: Learning from mistakes
Thomas Moore's blog, Care of the Soul
Additional: A direction for future reading on Regret has been given in relation to this on Barque: Thomas Moore as Catalyst, Remorse has intelligence and bite which hosts responses to Moore's work. Particularly the link is to Moore's article: Re-Morse an Initiatory Disturbance of the Soul